Bob’s Your Uncle

‘Bob’s your Uncle’, they say, 
‘Leave it to Bob, he’ll be OK.’

Well, that’s what they say. 

Uncle Bob
can't hang things straight, 
when we need him here
he’s always late;
if an engine needs
a new spare part, 
you can bet your life
it’ll never start;
Uncle Bob’s shelves
fall off the wall;
in fact Uncle Bob’s 
no use at all!

If I wanted someone to do a job
I’d never ask my uncle Bob.

From Dinner with the Spratts and Other Poems. Published by Methuen, 1991.