Claustrophobia

Emily’s got claustrophobia
She’s afraid of Santa Claus
Christmas is different in her house
It’s not like in mine or yours

She’s terrified of men with beards
And suits of brightest red
Sneaking down the chimney
While she’s fast asleep in bed

She’s hidden away her stockings
At the back of the chest of drawers
She’s covered up the fireplace
And locked the bedroom door

A kiss from Father Christmas
Is the thing she dreads the most
She’d rather be hugged by Dracula
Or Jacob Marley’s ghost

She hates holly, robins and ivy
She won’t go and play in the snow
You’ll never catch her standing
Beneath the mistletoe

Emily’s got claustrophobia
Carol singers make her feel queer
Don’t wish her a Merry Christmas
She’s hiding away till New Year.

From Spooky Poems. Published by Bloomsbury, 2001.