Noble Jones from Wallasey, the bravest cat in the world

Noble Jones is noble
Noble Jones is strong
Noble Jones goes round the place
Defending right from wrong
A smile upon his noble face
Embodiment of feline grace
He’s the pride of Merseyside
The bravest cat in the world.

A gang of desperadoes
Had terrorized the land
There were ugly scenes in Milton Keynes
Till Noble took a hand

He hounded them in Hounslow
And tied some up in Tring
He caught the rest in Crawley
They couldn’t do a thing

Single-pawed he beat them
At their evil game
Locked them up in Wormwood Scrubs
And wouldn’t leave his name.

For Noble Jones is modest
And Noble Jones is strong
Villains quake and start to shake
When Noble comes along. 

Relaxing at New Brighton
Curled up on the beach
He saw a kitten drowning
Swept from her parent’s reach

Swiftly to the rescue
He sprang into the waves
Avoiding by a whisker
A hero’s watery grave

Safely from the Mersey
He set her on the shore
But when the crowd turned round to cheer
He’d disappeared once more.

For Noble Jones is modest
And Noble Jones is shy
People cheer, forget their fear
When Noble passes by.

One day at Watford Junction
The brakes refused to function
And the Inter-City nearly left the track

With no fear of broken bones
Down jumped brave Noble Jones
Dug in his claws and hauled the engine back.

As big as a crocodile’s toothbrush
As huge as a dinosaur’s bones
As large as an elephant’s hanky
Is the heart of Noble Jones.

In Cardiff and Camarthen
They sang his praise aloud
From Penrith down to Plymouth
The did our hero proud

When The Queen conferred his Knighthood
A banner was unfurled
SIR NOBLE JONES FROM WALLASEY
THE BRAVEST CAT IN THE WORLD.

For Noble Jones is noble
And Noble Jones is strong
Noble Jones goes round the place
Defending right from wrong
A smile upon his noble face
Embodiment of feline grace
He’s the pride of Merseyside
The bravest cat in the world.

From The Phantom Lollipop Lady and Other Poems. Published by Methuen Children’s Books, 1986.